Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Off the wagon

OK lets get a couple of things out of the way, #1 Dave and all the Mods at the ESL cafe are fucking cunt bitches. They should all take a ride down a slide covered with razor blades. #2 from babble fish and Icoop...well Icoop is not working right now, so I will have to do that later.

When I fuck up, I like to do an amazing job of it. Like most Englishee teachers in ROK, I like to read an Idiots tale by Asmith. For those of you who don't know, Asmith likes to sing praise to the Jinro company for their manufacturing of a little product know as Soju. South Korea is practically run on Soju, these people pour it on their breakfast cereal, its so good. Instead of breastfeeding, they give their kids Soju they trust the product so much. I decided to try a bottle last night.

To say that Soju tastes good, is like saying that you hate your tongue, and want to punish it. Sweet mother soju goes down like a cup of lighter fluid. Despite its wonderful taste, I managed to down a whole bottle of the shit while making dinner.

Warning: don't drink Soju on an empty stomach.

Like my wife (who I love, sorry dear!) Soju neither goes down easy, or stays down easy. I sat down to eat my dinner, and after a couple of bites, I decided that I want a glass of water. When I got up, to my surprise my legs stopped working so good. I wobbled to the kitchen sink and got a glass of water. Then I wobbled back to my dinner.

My wife, who was unaware of my little experiment wanted to know "what the fuck was wrong" with me. Things get hazy after this point. I think I told her I was drinking, or that I had a cold or something. I don't know. What I do know is a little while later I find myself bowing to the porcelain god, and revisiting my dinner experience. Then I wake up at about 2:00am, under the covers and alone.

As my children are in Seoul with their aunt right now, my wife decided to sleep in their bed. No morning nookie for me I guess. So far today she has not said a single word to me. Thats OK though, I have a splitting headache and my throat hurts from all the throwing up I did last night.

Stay tuned for next weeks adventure "Mokkoli"!