Crazzzzzy!!!!

After 3 days and two nights of crazy, off the hook, debauchery, and mayhem I returned home, with my roomate and new friend Gary. Gary like me loves to cook, in fact he was once a professional chef.

In Korea, if you want to cook something that does not require hot chillies, soy sauce, bean paste, fish sauce or kim chi you are SOL. Gary wanted to make salsa, and jerked chicken, but seasonings such a cilantro(available in every grocery store in America, dried or fresh) is harder to find than a sober korean taxi driver.

There is a foreign quarter across the street from bus station, and since we both had to go over there anyway, I decided to show him where it was. The foreign markets have many things not usually available in korean markets, including long grained rice(koreans only grow short grained sticky rice).

On our way to the quarter we passed through a underground tunnel to get to the other side of the street. While in the tunnel a woman stopped and asked me if I was American. Being from the pacific northwest, my first impulse is always to be honest and polite.

I said. "Uh yes" starting to notice the uncomfortably intense eye contact she was making.

She said" the korean doctor, I pregnate he put lead in me!" Then she stared at me, as if that should make perfect sense.

"Oh"

"He bad man, he go to jail, he GUILTY" she continued. "He put lead in me, cause he, I had sex with a french American."

"Oh thats horrible." I said trying to keep moving.

"His name is Christian!"

"Oh. uh, well I will keep a look out for him...I guess?"

"He a verly bad man! Verly bad man! TOM AND JERRY! TOM AND JERRY!"

"Ok, well I have to go now!" I said, quickly walking away.

"Is he also American!" she asked pointing at Gary, who by the way had quickly walked all the way to the other side of tunnel.

I looked at Gary, his eyes full of panic. I swallowed that instinct of being honest, and said "No."

She turned and walked away.

I walked over Gary who just shook his head.

Another WTF from Korea.