Where is everyone?

I guess because of winter break no one in Korea is blogging regularly anymore. I have grown used to Asmith posting every day up to three or four times a day. Since he got into a big fight with his wife, he hasn't regularly blogged about his daily shit while reading the Korean Herald. I am truly worried about the guy!

KRD is only posting every other day or so, Mike went on Vacation, Mildly Amusing has not lived up to his name since he bought his PS3, the only person who seems to still be posting somewhat regularly is Danielle, the pervy little minx she is. I really don't understand why she has yellow fever, she must get turned on by the odor of soju, onions, and fish or like the idea of being the indentured servant of a 30 year old man-child and his mother. Kinky.

I am just as guilty though. I did not blog yesterday, or last weekend. My wife has is the only one who has posted something every day last week.

My wife complained to me this morning about the terrible blogging situation, and I told her that there is a lack of non-personal drama due to everyone being on vacation or at winter camps. It seems like with the cold weather, and no classes everyone seems to have gone it a sort of blogging hibernation.

My wife being the kind soul she is, came up with this solution. She kicked me in the face.

"Now go blog about it!" she ordered.

And I did.

ROK on.

Everyone at the ESL cafe has severe genital warts.

contagious venereal diseases

Side note:
Then while writing this, someone just let out the most disgusting smelling fart ( apart from my own) that I have smelled in a long time. I can practically taste it, I feel nauseous, really, I have to leave this room. That's all I have for now.

Money

First of all I would like to say what a fucking cunt Dave and all the MODs are at the ESL cafe. I hope you all die from an incredibly bad herpes infection.

Second of all I think I will post a funny translation of products from Icoop by babble fish every day from now on. Today's is 토종가시오가피 and this product translates as "The toe head family city comes and goes, the blood" sounds good, I think I will order some.

The main reason I packed up the family and moved to Korea was to make money. Back in the states I was one of the few employed. In fact I had two jobs. I worked full time as a Carpenter and part time as a Building Coordinator.

Even though I worked around 60 hours a week, we were not able to save any money. I actually made between 3,500-4,200 dollars per month, had health insurance but still could not save a fucking dime.

The government took about 1/3 of my check each month, I had to pay rent, car insurance, for gas, food, etc. Anything that was left from my check went to our credit card bills, which at that time had grown to over 10K from periods of time when I was unemployed (as a union carpenter after a job was finished, so was I). My back was constantly in pain, I began suffering from carpel tunnel syndrome, my job was fucking dangerous, and I was stressed out of my mind.

As a carpenter I got a half hour lunch, that did not count towards my work hour, so I had to work from 6am to 3:30pm. My boss expected me to be at the job site about 15-30 minutes early each day. I would wake up at about 4:50am just to have enough time to take a shit, grab some breakfast and head out while eating.

Living in the ROK, I don't have to pay rent, insurance, gas, etc. My main bills are food and for heat. My wife, who could not get/keep a job to save her life in the US is working too. I only have to actual "work" at the most 4 hours a day. About 100,000 won(about $100) is taken from my check each month for pension and insurance. I have a 1 hour lunch break, which counts towards my 8 hour day. I dont have to be at work until 8:30 and since I dont have class until after 9am, its OK if I am a little late. I am not suffering from back pain all the time, I am less stressed, I have more free time, I actually make less money ( about $2,000 per month), but it goes much further.

Each month, even though we spend my entire paycheck we are able to save my wife's entire paycheck (also about $2,000) each month. At the end of the year, with our pension, deposit (900,000 won each), bonuses (entire months salary each) all other things remaining the same, we will walk away with around $30,000(US) in savings. There was no way I could save that much back in the US.

We go to Seoul almost every other weekend, even though we have 5 mouths to feed (we brought my sister in law to watch/home school our kids) we have money to spend, and frankly our quality of life is better than that in the US. In the US we might have gone out to eat once maybe every other month, but here almost every week.

There are a lot of shitty things about living in Korea, but it is a great place for us right now. We don't want to spend the rest of our lives here of course, but we might spend another year here.
If we can do the same for second year, and leave with about $60,000 that should be enough to achive out goal of opening a restaurant somewhere like Argentina or Spain. We want to live where it doesn't get so fucking cold in the winter!

Kim Chi season

It is time to ferment some cabbage here. Outside all the stores there are massive piles of cabbage, some are whole, some are halved, and some are pre-wilted to make your kimchi production easier and faster. It seems like the cabbages are available all year round, but for some reason people are just making insane amounts of the shit right now.

I went to home plus over the weekend, and along with small mountains of cabbage and radish they had special refrigerator units for sale. Most of the Kim-chi enthusiasts here like to use these little rectangular containers to hold and ferment their cabbage in . The refrigerator units they had were designed to maximize the number of containers that they could hold. I thought it was funny to have a special refrigerator just for storing your Kim-chi, but you have to remember they eat it with every single meal!

Banishment

The idea behind my banishment is for the students to have more opportunities to come and have one on one conversations with me during lunch and between classes. Right now, when I am in the teachers office, students swarm in during lunch and the breaks between classes and practice their English with me. The office is centrally located, and the student often must go there to talk to teachers, see the nurse and occasionally get punished.

So obviously it would be much better for the students, and more convenient for them, if I would go sit in a classroom at the far end of the building, at the end of long hallway, where no students hang out, or visit except for when they have English class.

I can see how this is going to increase the amount of daily conversation practice I have with the kids, from being at the nexus of student activity(totally inconvenient) and being moved to the Ass end of Egypt, because you know how kids like to go out of their way to practice English.

Things are changing.

So first of all, starting next week I am not allowed in the Teachers office, lunch, breaks and between classes. When I don't have classes I may go to the teachers office. So what does that mean, it means I will only go to the teacher's office to get hot water for tea.

The Vice principal wants me to be in the Language lab full time, to allow students the chance to Converse with me one on one or in groups, for every break I get in the day. Right now I have a "Conversation Class" that is suppose to meet Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8:30 am (right when I get to work) for about 30 minutes. This does not count as teaching hours since it is just a conversation class, and not a regular class. And yet I have to make a lesson plan each week for this class.

Since I started the having "Conversation Class" two weeks ago, students have shown up once. Two weeks ago. I am not complaining mind you, I am fine with no one showing up, less work for me! I have not turned in a lesson plan for this class since first week and no one has noticed yet. So I have the appearance of more work, without the responsibility.

Going back to getting kicked out, it kind of sucks that I am basically losing one of my desks, and the occasional free food, company from other teachers. I am being banished to the other side of the school.

On the upside, I dont have to come into the Office and Bow to the Principal anymore, as currently I bow and "Anyang Hasseo" every morning and "Anyang Kesseo" when I leave as per instructions. Now I just go straight to my office, and leave straight from my office, no butt kissing required.

Another plus, with all this extra work of me sitting in my PRIVATE office in the Language lab, and no one showing up to talk to me(they would much rather hurl tennis balls and sandals at each other in the hallway), I will not have my shitty 3rd year classes anymore. Instead I will be watching videos and surfing the internet, not even pretending to work anymore.

Also, next year they want me to do Art Classes in English for extra Cash. I am down with that, I finally get to use that stupid fucking degree.

Third times the charm!

Today I am going to the gym. At least I am going to try again. I have been trying to join this gym that is kinda close to my school since monday, but have failed at every attempt. I choose to try to get a membership at this one because the one in the town I live in(which is larger and more convient) cost 85,000 won a month for a membership. That is pretty fricking steep. The one by the school is 30,000 won a month, or "not so fucking steep" as some might say.

On Monday(which was payday) it was not really I who failed, but stupid, fucking NH bank. For those of you that don't know NH bank is a pretty big bank in Korea, but it is also a farmer bank. They have big ass bags of rice sitting in the lobby for fucks sake. Well anyway, banks here close at 4:30pm which is when I get off work. So when I got to the bank, and my bank book(I dont have a bank card yet) would not work, I could not get any money out. So after randomly smashing buttons on the Korean language ATM (if I tried the English button it instantly failed) I had to concede victory to NH bank. You may have one this battle, but the war is not over yet...

The next day I was able to get off work early to go set up automatic gas payments at the bank. That is another weird little fun fact about Korea. When you get a gas bill, you pay it at the bank...I know crazy, right? It can be any bank, even if you don't have an account at it! Back in America, they wont even give you change for a dollar if you don't have an account with them! You can also set up automatic payments for a set period of time (at your bank), crazy but very convenient. So I was able to kill two birds with one trip to the bank, and set up my gas payments and get my monies out of the bank. Why did I kill two birds? Well that's my business.

So with thousands of Korean won in my sweaty little hand I went to the gym, next door to the bank. I went inside with a change of clothes, wearing my gym shoes, ready to join up and work out. But it was not to be! They would not let me in! Why, you ask? Because I did not have a second pair of shoes! They had a two shoe policy! How was I to know?

I knew that in a lot of places in Korea, for example my school, you wear slippers inside, and leave your shoes at the door. Of course you don't have to do that in grocery stores, or movie theaters, or aquariums or places like that. You have to in schools, homes, and some restaurants. I though the gym, where you don't wear slippers it would make sense just to need one pair! So once again I failed.

Today I have money, I have workout clothes(also a must for working out) I have extra shoes, so I should be able to do it! Unless I get hit by a bus or something on my way there. Its entirely possible.

I'm lovin it.

I was teaching a class one day, and in the lesson there was a story about a dog named Yeppie who destroyed someone's flower garden. Naughty Yeppie! Well anyway, I was interacting with the class and asking what should the owner do with his dog? Should he keep Yeppie inside? Should he keep Yeppie on a leash?

One girl raised her hand and said "Eeh sherd eeet Yeppie."
Now I was pretty sure I misheard that. "He should beat yeppie? No you shouldn't beat your pets." I said.

"No" she said "Eeh sherd eeet Yeppie!" and then she mimed eating, a delicious albeit naughty dog.

I was shocked! I asked my co-teacher "You don't really still eat dogs here? Do you?" she just laughed and smiled. Then I asked the class who had actually eaten dog in the class, and half the students raised their hands.

People love to eat meat in Korea, almost as much as in the US. But they also eat dog, which is uncommon in the US, unless you count corn and hotdogs. Here they have restaurants that specialize in dog meat stew.

When I first decided to come to Korea, I thought that was a myth. That eating dog was a racist stereotype, that might have been true in the past but they are a civilized, modern country that would not do that now, right? For some reason I equated a modern public transportation system and abundantly available high speed internet with not eating dog.

For those who read my blog(both of you) it is important to realize that my family and I are Vegans. We are tree-hugging, earth saving, liberal, leftist, socialist, atheist, vegans and we love it. Although I was shocked to find out that they still eat dog here, when I stopped to think about it, it is really worse than eating any other animal?

My wife says yes definitely. It is more wrong to eat a smart animal. So according to her it would be worse to eat a pig (smarter than a dog) than a dog. Cow would fall below dog, but above chicken, who would be above fish. Fish would be above clams, and clams would be above Glen Beck fans.

She also says if it can love you, you shouldn't eat it. I say that I don't really believe that dogs love you, sure they might like you, but occasionally they rip our faces off. Is that love? Maybe a chicken could love you too. You never know unless you give it a chance.

Just because I am paranoid...

I have always been a paranoid person. Growing up I always had these fantasy/delusions that everything around me was fake, and either the government or aliens were spying on me through hidden cameras placed throughout my world. Although I never really believed it, in the back of my mind I always felt like that movie the Truman show, and honestly, that movie kinda freaked me out. It was so close to what I always felt as a child. It is all part of being really egotistical, from this belief that I am so important, the center of the world really, so I am worth spying on constantly. It would have been a really boring show if you ask me. Unless you would like to watch a show about a kid who watches a lot of TV, or 14-18 year old boys masturbate constantly.
I never really, truly believed that I was part of some hideous experiment by aliens, or that the US government was watching my every move, but since I have moved to Korea...Well being the only White people in a see of Yellow, you get stared at constantly, sometimes they literally stop what they are doing and watch what I do with an incredulous look and dropped jaw. Not speaking Korean, I always get the feeling that people are talking about me but I never know for sure. To make things worse, a melody, followed by a mysterious voice will play through speakers in our walls. The message is in a language I dont understand, but I can tell it is different sometimes. It usually comes on a little while after I get home from going shopping, or getting back from work. I cant help but feel like maybe, just maybe it is talking about me. "The wayguk has returned from work, you may resume your normal activities..." "The foreigner purchased the following items today..." Anyway, it totally creeps me out.