tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26867264012174368592024-02-21T18:07:36.091-08:00Mr. Awesomecool's Fantastic Voyagemy pathetic attempt for getting attentionMr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.comBlogger133125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-22177372940519864312011-04-05T19:10:00.000-07:002011-04-05T19:15:19.454-07:00Insanity day 3I completed the Cardio power and resistance portion of Insanity today. It was about 45 minutes of pure torture. I should have guessed after the warm up part of the workout caused me to drench my shirt in sweat. <br /><br />About two hours after finishing, I was still breathing hard. <br /><br />I have 57 days left. <br /><br />My god...Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-75579474195903584292011-04-04T17:18:00.000-07:002011-04-04T17:25:54.059-07:00Insanity day 2Day two, where I actually did one of the workouts went, well.... not so well. It was a pretty hard workout, and I had to keep doing the routines over and over because my fucking copy of the video skipped and tripped all over the damn place. I dont know if I did more or less than I was suppose to, I did some of the exercises too long, some not long enough, and I have no Idea how long my actual workout lasted. <br /><br />All and all, I did sweat my balls off, so we will chalk it up to a win. I am getting new copies right now, so hopefully I can do an actual full routine tomorrow.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-38819890593949806762011-04-03T14:32:00.000-07:002011-04-03T14:52:09.350-07:00Insanity!!!Today I started Insanity.<br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZLK28BHJDd8" allowfullscreen="" width="480" frameborder="0" height="390"></iframe><br />There was a fitness test, which I failed.<br /><br />My score<br /><br />Switch Kick 106<br />Pile Squat 38<br />Power knee 57<br />Power jump 35<br />Globe jump 11<br />Suicide jump 12<br />Push up jacks 18<br />Low plank oblique 52<br /><br />There were two douches in the fit test video, who beat me in almost every exercise. Especially the Asian chick, who pretty much dominated the whole thing. I will however, destroy them both next time.<br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/X6bAcwnIn90" allowfullscreen="" width="480" frameborder="0" height="390"></iframe>Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-71740676320722535112010-12-15T16:50:00.000-08:002010-12-15T17:17:16.950-08:00New JobI started my new job yesterday. Lets just say, it was interesting. The day started out with me getting totally lost on my way to work, I google mapped it the night before, but unfortunately it has been renamed and a new school has been built since google maps last updated. I showed up half an hour late, but all my boss had to say was "Well, at least you are here."<br /><br />I should have taken that as a sign.<br /><br />I spent the day just shadowing other teachers as they had the students, ages ranging from 8-19 do "work" of putting matching colors and shapes in separate containers. It seemed easy enough, so they left me alone with a barely functioning autistic/retarded kid who likes to wear shoes about 6 sizes too big and run wildly around the classroom, randomly knocking shit over. Well we sat down, and a co-teacher gave me gummy candies to entice him to do his "work". Unfortunately, his work turned out to be to very frustrating to him, so he immediately proceeded to claw the shit out of my arm.<br /><br />The rest of the morning was uneventful. Unless you count when the jolly retard with the cart full of toy janitorial equipment was trying to tell me about his favorite toys.<br /><br />"this is my <span style="font-style: italic;">mumble</span> custom-toy owiol"<br /><br />"What?"<br /><br />"I said, this my <span style="font-style: italic;">mumble</span> cust-my owwl" He tried again, getting really frustrated.<br /><br />"uhhhhhh.....OK" Said I.<br /><br />"Your custom toy?" Supplied another teacher.<br /><br />"this is my <span style="font-style: italic;">mumble</span> stom-um told"<br /><br />"Well that is great!" I said, hoping to end this train wreck of a conversation.<br /><br />"this is my <span style="font-style: italic;">mumble</span> ustom-oy told" Not wanting to leave until his point was made clear.<br /><br />"Your custodial?" Someone guessed.<br /><br />"Yeah, that's what said!" He said, aghast at our stupidity.<br /><br />"Well say "Janitorial" next time!" Said the other teacher.<br /><br />After lunch we went to the afternoon kids. That is when the two most terrifying kids in the whole school show up. Of all the kids, 8-19 the two most terrifying are a pair of Autistic kids, 8 and 9 years old, both under 4 feet tall, and rail thin.<br /><br />I thought to my self "This is the worst you got?"and then I tried to get one to pick up a toy he threw. All hell broke lose as he tried to devour my hand, and my arm was once again clawed to shit. I had a pretty tough time, and another teacher ran in and we restrained the kid, and got him back to his seat, saying the hell with the toy he threw. Then the other kid melted down, and the 3'5", 60+ lbs kid took fully four teachers to restrain the snapping, clawing, twisting ball of animal like fury.<br /><br />All in all, not a terrible first day of work.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-64696337176764930822010-12-08T12:31:00.000-08:002010-12-08T12:48:18.135-08:00JobsEveryone knows that the job situation in the USA is fucking terrible. The moment we got back here, the wife was like "Lets apply to jobs like crazy." <br /><br />And I was like "Awww, do I have to?"<br /><br />And she was like "Yes! I am not going to piss away all our savings!"<br /><br />So we both applied for jobs. She especially wanted us to apply to those in Edumacation so as we can gets our teaching degrees and go back overseas to teach English real good. She also was determined to stay down in Goat town, as opposed to rainy-town. <br /><br />Two months later, I get called for an interview. Then I get a second call on Monday. Apparently I now have a job in the public schools as a teacher's aid. It comes with full benefits for the whole family. I get winter vacation, spring break, and summers off. And guess who is pissed.<br /><br />"You shouldn't have taken that job!" She tells me. "I want to move back to rainy-town!" She growls. "You should quit!" Even though I have not had my first day yet.<br /><br />I tell her, that it was her idea in the first place, and that it was everything that she wanted. So she tells me "You should not listen to me!"<br /><br />What?Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-20290444854218193272010-11-27T13:09:00.001-08:002010-11-29T09:18:48.594-08:00PieMy wife is not know for her amazing cooking skills. In fact she is actually known for her complete lack of cooking skills. Yet every year around Thanksgiving time, it is time for her to bake a pumpkin pie.<br /><br />I believe she grows insanely jealous from every year from all the praise and adoration that I receive for my massive cooking skillz and cock. So she ventures into the unfamiliar territory of the kitchen to ruin approximation 16 ounces of pumpkin, sugar, coconut milk, egg re-placer and pumpkin pie spice.<br /><br />In the previous years we have experienced, burned pies, sugarless pies, pies with roughly 10 millimeters thick and the infamous "pie with no crust". This is my wife's usually process for cooking pumpkin pie:<br /><br />Step one: Forget to cook the pumpkin.<br />Step two: Randomly substitute ingredients.<br />Step three: Burn the pie.<br />Step four: Serve burned pie-like abomination, then wonder why no one wants a piece. <br /><br />This year however, my wife took the radical step of actually finding a recipe for pie. She went shopping and bought the actual ingredients. She still forgot to cook the pumpkin, but lucky she married me, so I cooked the pumpkin and scooped into a bowl for her.<br /><br />She then measured the ingredients and put them into a blender. After arguing with me and others about random ingredient swapping (she relented, and finally decided that based on history, it wasn't such a good idea) she blended the ingredients and then wandered off.<br /><br />So I made a crust for her. And poured the pie mix into the crusts. I however made her cook them herself. However, after putting them in the oven, she promptly forgot all about them. Luckily her Uncle's convection oven uses a timer, and it shut off by itself before it burned the pie to a crisp. <br /><br />The pie this year did not turn out so bad, especially when covered with copious amounts of my famous vegan whipped topping.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-71327671944512394152010-11-08T10:33:00.000-08:002010-11-08T11:27:55.291-08:00The thrill of the huntLast weekend I took lil' Fantaboulous out to her grandparents house. Her Grandparents live between Eugene and the coast, on fifteen acres of land right on the side of a busy highway. The reason I brought her out was the mighty Oregon Chantrelle.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9a/Chanterelle_Cantharellus_cibarius.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 342px; height: 208px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9a/Chanterelle_Cantharellus_cibarius.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The Chantrelle is quite common on Grandpa Awesomecool's land and easy to identify. It is also really fun to find, its like an Easter Egg hunt for adults. Even mini-Fantaboulous likes to go looking for the tasty shroom, even though if a mushroom is in the same room as her dinner, she wont touch it. <br /><br />We hiked up into the great wooded mountains where the feisty orange fungus lurked and began to hunt. The Grandparents had marked out some areas of the mountain on a previous expedition of where the had found "loads of Chantrelles, more than we could pick." We found the taped area and began to look around, after about fifteen minutes, I had found two mushrooms.<br /><br />"They are right over this ridge." They kept saying. We kept hiking and hiking, and nary a mushroom was to be found. The grandparents kept making excuses and saying "They were here last time..." <br /><br />I finally found a small patch poking out of some loose pine needles and began to gather, I called lil' Fantaboulous over so she could participate, but before she could get there Grandpa Awesomcool pounced on them like a fat kid on a cupcake, and grabs everyone in sight.<br /><br />I broke away from my parents with lil' Fantabulous to see if we could find some without my mushroom hungry parents grabbing them all. I found another patch of mushrooms and let my 13 year old began picking them in earnest. <br /><br />Then my parents little mutt of a dog, runs over to us. The thing looks like a doberman crossed with a pitbull, but is the size of a tea cup poodle. The thing acts like a five year old who has been freebaseing pixie sticks. It begins to jump all over us, trying to lick our faces, while manically and precisely stomping on every single chantrelle in the immediate area. So I grab the little bitch(because that is what she is) and toss her into the bushes. She bolts back out and plays "steamroller" on the few remaining mushrooms.<br /><br />A little while later I find another patch of shrooms and give lil' Fantabulous a third chance to gather. However, she began moving around like a butterfly with ADD, picking up every mushroom that was distinctly not Chantrelles. <br /><br />"Dad! Come over here! Look at this one! Have you seen one like this before?"<br /><br />I walk over and look. "Yeah, I have seen those ones, pick the Chantrelles honey."<br /><br />"Dad!Come over here! Did you see this one before? It looks like a boob!"<br /><br />I walk back over. "Yeah, that's great Honey, I have never seen those before. Lets just pick the chantrelles though. OK?"<br /><br />"Dad! Dad! Dad! Come over here, quick!"<br /><br />"Why? Did you find another weird looking mushroom? Because I am only interested in Edible mushrooms. Don't call me over unless you find some chantrelles."<br /><br />"No, Dad, come over here! Its important, come here!"<br /><br />So I march back through the wet brush. "What is it?"<br /><br />"Look at this bug!"<br /><br />I sent lil' Fantabulous to go pick mushrooms with her grandmother, and went off with Grandpa Awesomecool. I tried to stay at least 50 feet from my dad, to prevent him from poaching all the shrooms I would find. We kept finding small patches, while wandering farther and farther from Grandama and lil' Fantabulous. After about 30 minutes Grandpa gets a call on his cell phone saying that they had found "A huge patch of mushrooms" and that we "Should come back right away!" to pick them. So my dad says that we should wander back the way we came.<br /><br />I kept telling him "they are going to be finished by the time we get there!" But dad insists on heading back, and so we go. After stopping for a few small patches that Dad missed on the way, we finally hike all the way back to where we started.<br /><br />"We finished picking them all, there actually weren't that many after all." Says Grandma Awesomecool. <br /><br />"I found a pretty rock!" Says lil' Fantabulous.<br /><br />Then the rain came down in typical Oregon fashion, in sheets and sideways. <br /><br />"Well...That's enough of that, lets get the fuck out of here." Says I, and we do.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-24255331450383300542010-11-07T12:37:00.000-08:002010-11-07T12:56:36.308-08:00Not feeling itSince I have been back in the US, I don't really have anything to say anymore. Not that there is not a lot of things to talk about, like overwhelming numbers of fat people, people with dogs, fat people with dogs, trucks, fat people in trucks, fat people with dogs in trucks, etc.<div><br /></div><div>America has become really, really boring to me. Actually, more annoying than boring. After hearing what people have to say in this country, and watching TV that I can understand for the first time in a year, I actually miss not understanding what people are saying. </div><div><br /></div><div>I was at the local grange with my daughter, picking up hay and goat food for<a href="http://www.superfantabulous.com/2010/11/fireside.html"> "Crazy old one tit"</a> When I heard a couple of fat American women talking about their dogs.</div><div><br /></div><div>"The thing about Callie here is she has a really unique personality"</div><div><br /></div><div>"Wow, really?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"You know how some dogs get excited when they see people or other dogs?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"Oh, tell me about it. My dogs get really excited when they see people or other dogs."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Well, her is the thing about my Callie. She gets really, really excited when she sees people or other dogs!"</div><div><br /></div><div>"NO, WAY!"</div><div><br /></div><div>I cant actually remember what they said, but I was just struck by how stupid their fucking conversation about their stupid dogs was. Its a fucking dog, everyone in america has one, and they might seem like they are unique and interesting to you, but at the end of the day, it eats, it shits, it barks. It is still just a fucking dog.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then my daughter went on an overnight camping trip. On the trip the teachers made all the students try some salad. One of the students gagged, because she had never had salad before. She spit it out and said. "This is not real food."</div><div><br /></div><div>OMFG. This is why our kids are fat. Well not my kids. My kids eat salad. Your kids are fat. </div>Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-24277998938890040362010-09-27T16:53:00.000-07:002010-09-28T17:10:29.952-07:00No love for chocolateI had been wondering what had happened to <a href="http://blackboyinkimchiland.blogspot.com/">Black Mike,</a> AKA Black Child, AKA Chocolate love thunder, since leaving Kimchi land. Apparently he is living in Taiwan now and up to his old tricks again of pissing off every single Asian and fat Caucasian female that crosses his path.<br /><br />While in Korea, Blackchild had the attitude of 'Fuck you. I am a Black American, I don't put up with this type of bullshit back home and I ain't got to put up with your bullshit here.'<br /><br />This, of course upset Koreans terribly. 'I Kolean, I have ta put up with da burrshit, why you tink you no have ta put up with da burrshit too?'<br /><br />Much to the dismay of his employers as well as the Korean country men and women who resided in his little slice of rice paddy that he called home, they ended up with a confrontational black man (slightly more scary than the average black man). He got in fights with locals over their racist bullshit (which is part of their heritage, and was culturally insensitive of him!) shamed his employers when trying unsuccessfully to screw him over at every turn (as is customary), and pretty much took a giant shit on the Korean Kulture of treating foreigners like the shit they get treated like by other Koreans.<br /><br />Eventually Mike just put an end to the fighting and left a land strewn with empty Soju bottles, to return to one strewn with empty crack vials. And then he dropped from the blogging scene, only reappear in Taiwan. Where he is being forced out of his current residence for the crime of being Black (and therefore scary) and not attracted to fat white bitches (whaaatt? Are you sure you are black??).<br /><br />Apparently because some great white whale moved in next door to Blackchild, and as a result she has developed Ahab syndrome and is afraid of getting a great big, black harpoon shoved down her blowhole. So the building owner (who is his boss) is kicking him out, to prevent the impending blubber harvest. She is also not getting him a new place, or helping him with rent, when she had provided him the current residence at a discount.<br /><br />What would I do in this situation? Well first of all, I would not be black, which believe me, other than being unable to dance and sucking at sports helps immeasurably (you should give it a try sometime). Was I still white and in this situation, I would go 'Oh, that is rather unfortunate, I guess I will find alternate accommodations, thank you very much for kicking me out and have a nice day. Oh, by the way, can I give you any money for your troubles?'<br /><br />Which is not what Mike did at all (How un-white of you!). He said 'Fuck you, I am a Black American, I don't put up this type of with bullshit back home and I ain't got to put up with your bullshit here.'<br /><br />To which their reply was 'I Taiwanese, I have ta put up with da burrshit, why you tink you no have ta put up with da burrshit too?'<br /><br />Same shit, different country, Mike?<br /><br />PS. to Chocolate love thunder:<br /><br /> I am very disapointed that you don't have a link to my blog on your blog :(Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-36856817005237956752010-09-26T17:44:00.000-07:002010-09-26T18:25:23.660-07:00Running down the clockWell we have four days of teaching left before we blow this Popsicle stand. Sadly just as my bromance with <a href="http://ahuskerinkorea.wordpress.com/">husker</a> was starting to heat up...sigh.<br /><br />The wife and I have been packing for the last couple weeks, (about 1 item per day) and have yet to finish. We are trying to use up all the food in our kitchen, today I gave the building guardian some dubious tok (korean rice cake) that had been sitting in our refrigerator for at least two weeks.<br /><br />His face lit up with joy when he received the small gift, which was in fact, a half hearted attempt on his life. You ask why was I trying to kill our guardian with spoiled, processed rice products? I good sir, ask you, why not?<br /><br />It both brings joy and sadness to leave this land. We have had a comfortable life, easy jobs, and almost zero responsibilities. We are trading that for a shitty job market, high rent,no health insurance, low pay, and if we even find jobs, actually having to work (the horror!). I am happy that I will be able to buy clothes that fit once again (shoes especially, seriously what is with the pixie sized feet?) as since arriving here I have lost over 20 lbs. and will be leaving almost my entire wardrobe. It will also be nice to be able to go to grocery stores that don't have just 5 aisles a soy and fish sauce aisle, a red paste aisle, a ramyan aisle(not to be confused with ramen, which of course is completely different), a noodle aisle, a tea and coffee aisle and a snack aisle. Some variety will be nice.<br /><br />Working here has been the easiest job in my entire life, the pay was not high, but it was more than enough to support five people and other than paying for an extensive summer vacation we saved most of my wife's paycheck. I have not made a lesson plan since April, and that was the same one I made in November that I just kept turning in. Sometimes I almost feel guilty for taking the money because this job is so easy, them I remember all the bullshit I have to put up with and the guilt fades.<br /><br />My <a href="http://www.superfantabulous.com">wife</a> has to the surprise of everyone who knows her lasted her entire contract (I may be jinxing it, she could decide to take off tomorrow). The longest she had lasted at any job in her past was six months.<br /><br />We really don't know what we are going to do when we go back, look for work, go back to school, live in 150 miles apart since both of our kids want to live and go to school in different towns? Should we move to Texas or Arizona, should we stay in Oregon? Get our masters degrees in ESL or teaching? Get different degrees? I just don't know.<br /><br />It can be pretty shitty when you are in your mid thirties and still not know what you want to do with your life.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-13684702837236299292010-09-24T16:14:00.000-07:002010-09-24T16:56:17.066-07:00Husky husker who husksLast week I called out<a href="http://ahuskerinkorea.wordpress.com/"> a Husker</a> as having a crush on <a href="http://www.superfantabulous.com/">Mrs. Awesomecool</a> AKA <a href="http://www.superfantabulous.com/">Superfantabulous.</a> His response to the allegation was a big guilty silence. I thought as much. Never trust a husker around your women folks, or farm animals for that matter.<br /><br />Someone accused my wife of being a control freak, even though are daughter is 3,000 miles away and being watched by her 20 year old Aunt. The little ms. thang found herself at a party where the parents left a group of 12 year old boys and girls totally unsupervised. She had wanted to spend the night at the party, where our response was a resounding "NO" heard clear across the Pacific ocean.<br /><br />Later we learned that before Mini-fantabulous was taken home by her Aunt, she had wandered the night with unsupervised with the 12 year old boys and girls, and the police were called on their little group for harassing elderly women. The next time we contacted her, she had found herself once again without supervision at a different friend's house alone with a pack of hormonally charged 16 year old boys, where she wanted to stay and watch the premier of GLEE. To which any sane parent would of course say 'NO!'.<br /><br />One of my wife's readers had a problem with our saying no to this:<br /><br />"<span style="font-style: italic;">wow. talk about a control freak. Kids will be kids, boys will be boys and girls will be girls. The more your try to control it, the more they will rebel in the future. You think you have problems now? Wait until they're big enough to go tell you to fuck off. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I may not be the most perfect dad, but my kids realize that and as a result, are pretty open and honest about stuff. They need to make mistakes to learn from them and if you keep trying to shelter them from that, they'll make bigger and more mistakes.</span>"<br /><br />1st of all, my daughter has been telling me to 'fuck off' since she was 5. Secondly how can you be a control freak when you are in a completely different country from the one you are suppose to be controlling? At best she is a remote control freak. Thirdly <span style="font-weight: bold;">fuck you</span>. Fourthly you would have to be a complete idiot to think that leaving a cute 12 year old girl (with boobs) alone with a pack of sex crazed 16 year old boys is acceptable in any way. Fifthly I am not a perfect dad either, but when I have the sense to not put my twelve year old in situations where she can get raped or impregnated that is <span style="font-weight: bold;">NOT</span> being overprotective. That is being a good parent with some fucking common sense.<br /><br />The whole point of parenting is to protect your children until they are old enough and mature enough to protect themselves from danger, but mostly from themselves. Its not to let them run wild on the streets with an attitude of 'that'll learn them'. Maybe mr. anonymous (if that is his real name) does not have any daughters, or just does not remember what it was like being a 16 year old or has shown up on <span style="font-style: italic;">to catch a predator</span>, I don't know his story but I do know kids who were left to make their own mistakes. Those kids made serious mistakes, they ended up pregnant at 14, in jail, on drugs, fathering children at 15 or dead. I am speaking about kids I grew up with. The ones with overprotective parents left my little po-dunk town and went to college, had careers and had much better lives than those who were left to run wild.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://content8.flixster.com/question/62/69/65/6269654_std.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 257px; height: 270px;" src="http://content8.flixster.com/question/62/69/65/6269654_std.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <span style="font-style: italic;">Mr. Anonymous</span><br /></div><br /><br />My parents at least tried to keep a leash on me, tried to keep me from hurting myself, I may have resented it at the time, but I appreciate it now.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-3285840358248347802010-09-20T00:03:00.000-07:002010-09-26T18:27:01.215-07:00Finishing the work weekToday is Monday, the first and last day of my work week. It seems silly to come to school for just one day, but then again, it is Korea.<br /><br />About half the students showed up for class, the rest having migrated to whatever hometown either their grandparents or firstborn sons of their families are living in for the Chuesok holiday.<br /><br />The <a href="http://www.superfantabulous.com/">wife</a> did not have to come to school today, since her school realized how kick-ass it would be to have a whole fucking week off instead of having everyone come to school for just Monday. I guess I should not complain too much, I am getting a <span style="font-weight: bold;">six</span> day weekend, and I have heard of other schools that are making people work Monday and Friday. I feel sorry for those guys, but hey, 3 days off in the middle of the week is still better than nothing.<br /><br />It was a good thing I showed up a little early today, because in typical Korean fashion they randomly decided to start my classes at 8:30 instead of 10:00 without saying a fucking word to me. I did not even realize it until I got to my classroom and found it full of students, to whom I asked "What the fuck are you doing here?"<br /><br />When I travel with my wife, I usually don't make it to school until a little after 8:35 since we usually like to make out at the bus stop by our schools. Its kinda hot.<br /><br />All my classes today were full of knuckle draggers, and at one point my co-teacher told me to "give up" because "they have no idea." I was trying to get them to read and practice some simple dialogues about "going to the library this weekend" but it was way over their heads. What is really terrible is that these are the 2nd grade students, and the worst of the first grade students can read and speak Englishee in circles around these kids.<br /><br />One of the second graders today, thought the word M-O-R-E spelled <span style="font-style: italic;">make</span>. And kept saying "would you like some make steak?" You would think since all these kids started Englishee in Kindergarten that they would be able to read four letter words.<br /><br />Either the first graders have gotten smarter since my wife started at the Elementary school, or<br />they have been getting progressively worse at Englishee since I started teaching here.<br /><br />Probably the latter.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-57783188728775097992010-09-16T16:50:00.000-07:002010-09-18T23:04:45.504-07:00My pantsI own a magical pair of pants. I swear its true. How do I know they are magical? Its quite simple really. Every day when I go to work, I say hello to my co-teachers, get my cup of tea, and fill my water bottle. Every day people say hi, or ignore me and I wander off the solace of my office at the ass end of the school to be ignored and left alone. Which is fine by me.<br /><br />Unless I wear my magic pants.<br /><br />I bought my magic pants from a goodwill a few months ago. When I tried them on, they fit but were a little too tight. I bought them anyways, figuring that either they would stretch out after wearing them, or I would eventually lose a pound or two and they would fit. They were only 5,000 won anyway, so I really did not care that much.<br /><br />The first day I wore them to school, every single female at my school asked me about my diet.<br /><br />"Oh, Awesomecool, you face so thin."<br /><br />"Oh, Awesomecool, you no fat. Can I see your sex-pek?"<br /><br />"I soo jearous, what diet?"<br /><br />I told them that I was not really on a diet as much as just doing regular exercise and eating less more often. I showed them all the <a href="http://www.bodyrock.tv/">bodyrock.tv</a> website and said "Just do what she does 4-5 times a week for 12-20 minutes a day."<br /><br />They did not "rike dat" because "her muscer too big".<br /><br />To which I replied "There is no way in hell that any of you will ever get muscles like her doing these exercise. It takes a genetic disposition to muscle growth and serious dedication to look like that." But my comments fell on deaf ears.<br /><br />The rest of the week I wore some more loose fitting jeans, and other slacks and received absolutely no comments, so I figured they were over wanting to see my "sex-pek". The following week I wore my "magic" jeans again, and low and behold....<br /><br />"Oh, Awesomecool, you face so thin."<br /><br />"Oh, Awesomecool, you no fat. Can I see your sex-pek?"<br /><br />"I soo jearous, what diet?"<br /><br />I explained once again my workout and diet regiment, which once again they did not like. Then the following week I wore the pants again, and they gave me the same compliments and asked the same questions.<br /><br />After buying the pants around 3 months ago, I wore them yesterday, and this is what they said:<br /><br />"Oh, Awesomecool, you face so thin."<br /><br />"Oh, Awesomecool, you no fat. Can I see your sex-pek?"<br /><br />"I soo jearous, what diet?"<br /><br />I tell you they must be magic to cause monthly, even weekly memory loss to an entire office of women. Either that or Koreans only have short term memories or just like to look at my ass in tight jeans.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfsdrtb0KWEOSkEwfAW8HR_2pVrjLjSdds282WcHmXnFQ1K5qocCkHYJoUc-_SvdSHMgWKRdoKwFQ8l5L1Gxbimdupk3zjRGRUdC-wEgt1noSzGmyPU81SkS7FQUUnjEjBRw2i2FO6rRk/s1600/freak-in-tight-jeans-shorts.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 450px; height: 479px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfsdrtb0KWEOSkEwfAW8HR_2pVrjLjSdds282WcHmXnFQ1K5qocCkHYJoUc-_SvdSHMgWKRdoKwFQ8l5L1Gxbimdupk3zjRGRUdC-wEgt1noSzGmyPU81SkS7FQUUnjEjBRw2i2FO6rRk/s1600/freak-in-tight-jeans-shorts.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />By the way, they are too loose now, and I need a belt to hold them up.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-36253117010626113062010-09-15T17:02:00.000-07:002010-09-15T17:25:10.755-07:00Husking in KoreaApparently someone has been <a href="http://ahuskerinkorea.wordpress.com/">husking</a> in Korea, I am not sure what that means, but I think it is an euphemism randomly tearing the clothes off of innocent subway patrons, as if one was shucking an ear of corn, only more rapishly.<br /><br />You have all been warned. The Urban dictionary also has a definition for <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=husking">husking</a>, but I like mine better.<br /><br /><a href="http://ahuskerinkorea.wordpress.com/">This guy</a> seems to have a raging boner for my wife, and has written about her several times in his blog, which has inflated <a href="http://www.superfantabulous.com/">my wife's</a> already inflated ego. He has also mentioned me, but not as lovingly, or even bromancianly. My feeling (singular, as I have only one feeling and that is blind rage) has been hurt.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ahuskerinkorea.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/pict1873_small1.jpg?w=200&h=232"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 232px;" src="http://ahuskerinkorea.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/pict1873_small1.jpg?w=200&h=232" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">What has two thumbs and wants to bang your wife? This guy.</span><br /></div><br />So I have given a Husker in Korea a space in my sidebar. Nebraska sucks!Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-69423783800393817772010-09-14T17:31:00.000-07:002010-09-14T18:06:38.341-07:00Mid termsMid terms are coming up the first week of October. The head of the Englishee dept. wants me to finish chapters 7-9 for the upcoming tests. This would not be that big of a deal except we started classes the last week of August, and have had field trips, listening tests and the Chuseok holiday in that time.<br /><br />The first week of Classes I sat out almost every class. Normally we have two months to get this much done, allowing at least two weeks per chapter. I have only had my Tuesday and Wednesday classes twice this whole time and will only have them once more before the exam. It normally takes at least two classes for the high level students to finish a chapter, but I only have 3 classes for three chapters. What really sucks a donkey dick is that Tuesday and Wednesday are the low level students. <br /><br />And I mean <span style="font-style: italic;">low level</span>. Basically kids with a full on retard for Englishee. I am talking about writing letters backwards, kids that cannot count to ten, or say the Alphabet and answer questions like: <br /><br />"What is your favorite color?" <br /><br />With "Ball!"<br /><br />Our school gets special funding because of these kids. Hell, our high level students can barely read. Our low level students literally have the lowest test scores in the <span style="font-weight: bold;">whole</span> entire province. If I can get them to utter a single word in English, it is cause for celebration. If they can answer a question using two words or more, they are immediately escorted from class and moved up into the mid level classes.<br /><br />After the mid terms we will have almost three entire months to finish the next three chapters before the end of the year finals. I asked if we could push the tests back a week or two, but the answer was no. <br /><br />Well whatever, its not like actually teaching the classes would have any affect on their test scores anyway. Most of them will probably get their name wrong on the test.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/Vercetti101/Stupid.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 375px;" src="http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/Vercetti101/Stupid.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-59801066133164878482010-09-12T17:01:00.000-07:002010-09-12T18:05:32.102-07:00You better not blog about this!"<span style="font-weight: bold;">You better not blog about this!</span>" is a threat I receive daily from Mrs. <a href="http://www.superfantabulous.com/">Superfantabulous</a>. It is OK if she blogs about my <a href="http://www.superfantabulous.com/2010/09/manorexic.html">manorexia</a>, or bouts with <a href="http://www.superfantabulous.com/2010/06/adventures-in-soju-land-ii.html">soju</a> but should I mention the <a href="http://consumerfrenzie.blogspot.com/2010/09/separation-anxiety.html">batshit crazy</a> stuff she does, it somehow violates her privacy.<br /><br />That is why I wont blog about how since our children went back to the USA she has become a Howard Hues like shut in, never leaving the house except to go to work.<br /><br />I will not blog about how she slapped me in the face while on a crowded bus, because I happened to be singing the song 99 problems to myself.<br /><br /><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WwoM5fLITfk?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WwoM5fLITfk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="480"></embed></object><br /><br />I also will not mention how when waiting for a bus, she decided to head butt me, and then said to me accusingly "Why did you do that?" or how this morning, she decided to take a shower, disrobed then spontaneously started doing stretches in front of our wide open windows, much to the delight of any Korean who happened to be wandering by at the time.<br /><br />For respect for my wife and her privacy I will not be blogging about any of these things now or in the immediate future, because I am a good husband.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-18080114748049423052010-09-09T18:11:00.001-07:002010-09-09T18:41:05.009-07:00Wanted<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.indiewire.com/images/uploads/iw9/ots/2008_wanted_008.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 550px; height: 306px;" src="http://www.indiewire.com/images/uploads/iw9/ots/2008_wanted_008.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Last night my <a href="http://www.superfantabulous.com/">Superfantabulous</a> and I watched Wanted.<br /><object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Z4pWuFv48Zk?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Z4pWuFv48Zk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="640"></embed></object><br /><br />It was a pretty entertaining movie, not to be taken seriously of course with dramatic way, way over the top action scenes with reminded me of the much under appreciated "Last action hero" staring the Governator.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8Z9Ismh1elM?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8Z9Ismh1elM?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />During the first car chase scene Angelina Jolie is driving a red sports car that magically makes cop cars exploded when rammed, but mysteriously cannot outrun a dog food delivery truck. It probably is one of the best car chase scenes I have seen cars flying over other cars, bullets flying, explosions and all of it too insane to be taking serious at all. During that scene this is miss Superfluousness:<br /><br /> "Gasp!"<br />"Oh, my god!" Hand covers mouth.<br />"WOW!"<br />Sharp intake of breath from the danger.<br />"Gasp!" again<br />'Whoa."<br />"Did you see that?" I am sitting next to her, watching the same movie. So yes, I did.<br />"WooooW" (extended wow.)<br />"Gasp!" number three.<br />"Ohmygod!" (Oh my god in one word)<br /><br />What should be noted is that Mrs. Superfantabulous is no fan of the action genera, and in fact hates car chase scenes with a passion. So for her to enjoy something so immensely and to be on the edge of her seat with excitement means that this was no ordinary car chase scene, and the movie was a step above the other mindless shit rolling out of Hollywood.<br /><br />It was still mindless shit of course, just slightly better mindless shit. I enjoyed it.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-66710175452522817172010-09-08T16:57:00.000-07:002010-09-09T18:04:52.938-07:00AdultryI am an Adulterer. I have cheated on my wife many, many times.<br /><br />There are many types of Adultery. There is heterosexual adultery, homosexual adultery, adultery with prostitutes or ex-sex. Any of these types of Adultery would be preferable to my wife than the type I do.<br /><br />DVD Adultery.<br /><br />One of the reasons we have been married for over 13 years is we have similar tastes. We both have dry sarcastic senses of humor, matching political and religious views so when one of us finds a TV show or movie they like, the other usually likes it too. And when you like something, and are in a committed relationship you its always best to enjoy something you both like together.<br /><br />Everyone knows that its more fun to watch a movie or TV show with someone else, but what if the other person does not have the time to watch the movie or TV show? What if you really want to know what is going to happen in the next episode? What if work and family get in the way of you finding out what happens to Bill and Sookie? What if you have been waiting what seems like forever to see "Kick Ass?"<br /><br />The temptation is overwhelming. I have the files downloaded on my computer, I have hours and hours of free time at work, and there is only so many things you can do on facebook to while away the time. It gets hard to resist.<br /><br />I try to distract my hunger with shows that only I like, we both like the <span style="font-style: italic;">Daily show</span>, so I cant watch that, but only I like <span style="font-style: italic;">Colbert</span> which is almost as good. But that only satisfies me for so long (since the bastard goes on vacation like every other month). So then I watch some other show she doesn't like (We have "safe" shows. I like "Rescue me" but the wife doesn't, she watched all the episodes of "Dead like me", "Six feet under" and "Grey's anatomy" which I just never got into) but then I finish watching all the current episodes.<br /><br />Finally I succumb. I scratch that itch, and it feels sooooooooo goooooood. Then as the credits roll, the guilt washes over. I have committed a cardinal sin (in married life) , I have cheated on my spouse.<br /><br />Sure I can "Fake it" and watch it again with her, but its never as good as the first time. You already have heard the Jokes, you know the plot twists, the surprises, the scary moments, you know who survives and who dies. And you feel horrible for knowing, but mostly you feel bored for watching it again. And guilty. And maybe a little hungry. So you go to the kitchen to get a snack. Right during the suspenseful part. And that's the tell. That is where you fucked up.<br /><br />Accusations fly<br /><br />"You already watched this!"<br /><br />"No I didn't!"<br /><br />"Oh my god! You are a terrible liar! You did! You did watch it!"<br /><br />"I'm so sorry, I just couldn't take it any longer...I have ...needs"<br /><br />"I cant beleive you would do this to me...to us...Have you been watching anything else?"<br /><br />"No, it was just this one time, I swear."<br /><br />"Your lying!"<br /><br />"OK, OK, I watched a few episodes of "Vampire diaries" but I swear i did not enjoy it" another lie, sadly I enjoy all vampire based teenage dramas. Really. I don't know what is wrong with me.<br /><br />Of course we fight, and it comes out in the fight that she has been watching "Weeds" at work. So then we both make up and swear never to never do it again.<br /><br />But it is only a matter of time. New episodes of "Dexter" are starting.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-53346146904977363532010-09-07T17:27:00.000-07:002010-09-07T19:44:20.302-07:00English LessonsAs I have already stated countless times, I don't really do lesson plans. The school I work for has mandated materials that are all covered in CD-ROM. It has lessons in grammar, reading, speaking and listening with audio and video tracks all performed by Native English Speakers. <br /><br />Even though there seems to be a high production value in the materials, they are of course are rife with spelling and grammar mistakes, and the odd Englishee such as "I have never written or gotten a letter since last year."<br /><br />All the dialogue is terribly boring, performed by ugly actors with droning monotone voices. There is absolutely no effort being made to capture the interest of the students who pretty much zone out when I play the videos. It takes a herculean effort just to pay attention.<br /><br />In the chapter we are doing right now I noticed some writing on one of the actors T-Shirts. This is what it said:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguWCikBAwyu3K-9zkYFETwsUtp0ucZ0lstPJIwCjLO4YBH5wnTkg6qg9p6N3UFRn0qR_IkIy286Gm-N4y9EJ3jPGk7ldY99om0z8aL6ue5n7NDLoHIoBWFR4Yg4hfMJP_y4XySxjdVwZk/s400/ask_me_about_my_explosive_diarrhea_tshirt-p2354413693811905333sgf_400.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguWCikBAwyu3K-9zkYFETwsUtp0ucZ0lstPJIwCjLO4YBH5wnTkg6qg9p6N3UFRn0qR_IkIy286Gm-N4y9EJ3jPGk7ldY99om0z8aL6ue5n7NDLoHIoBWFR4Yg4hfMJP_y4XySxjdVwZk/s400/ask_me_about_my_explosive_diarrhea_tshirt-p2354413693811905333sgf_400.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />It was worn by one of the Native English Speakers. I guess someone has a sense of humor.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-78631957327811029302010-09-05T20:25:00.000-07:002010-09-05T21:39:48.909-07:00Separation AnxietySince our children have left my wife has been beside herself. We knew it would be difficult once they left, but I had no idea how hard the <a href="http://www.superfantabulous.com">woman</a> would take it. She has begun a slow but steady decent into complete madness.<br /><br />The first few days were mostly displays of crying and moping, resulting from finding objects left behind by the children and the oppressing quiet of an empty home. Some of it was from her too.<br /><br />This weekend the constant mating calls of the cicadas drove her to screaming madly for silence out the windows, sending children, women and even a few grown men running for fear of the gigantic, female, long head with a big voice.<br /><br />This weekend she refused to leave the house except to venture out to buy food, and only because she cannot bare to be alone. <br /><br />She is having trouble going to sleep at night, and last night she demanded that I "pet her" until she fell asleep and wanted me to "purr" as I pet her. I of course refused, as the pet-ee should be the one who purrs, not the pet-er.<br /><br /> Petting her and me purring? That's just crazy.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-27550803174776158822010-08-30T22:01:00.000-07:002010-08-30T22:02:28.247-07:00One of my students made this awesome video. He is a really good dancer.<br /><br /><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1940361&fullscreen=1" height="360" width="480"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><param name="movie" quality="best" value="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1940361&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1940361&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" allowscriptaccess="always" height="360" width="480"></embed></object><div style="padding: 5px 0pt; text-align: center; width: 480px;">See more <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/videos">funny videos</a> and <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/pictures">funny pictures</a> at <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/">CollegeHumor</a>.</div>Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-32532030228380198312010-08-30T16:40:00.000-07:002010-08-30T22:03:14.906-07:00Second week at workOn my way to work this morning my wife told me "Have a nice day at work, Sucker!"<br /><br />Why am at work, unlike my shiftless wife? She decided to use one of her 14 or so unused sick days to stay home with the offsprung on their final day in Kimchiland. They are flying back to the good old US of A-holes to get their edumcations at our fine pubic schools where I am also got my edumacation.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">People think that Korean public schools are really great, and they are for teaching math and science, but not much else. In America, most students know that their are 50 states in the USA, they may only be able to name around three of them including their home state (New York, and California being the other two) less if they live in either New York or California. Some might be able to name Hawaii and Alaska because they are both located south of California in the middle of the ocean near the Mexican boarder, yet for some reason only one is tropical, where the other suffers from a sub arctic climate...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.map-of-usa.co.uk/images/usa-politcal-map.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 735px; height: 550px;" src="http://www.map-of-usa.co.uk/images/usa-politcal-map.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">odd.</span><br /></div><br /><br />And people on the news always complain that 99% of Americans cannot find Afghanistan or Iraq on a map of the middle east, but most of my students did not even know where Australia is, and it is a fucking continent (Oceania assholes, go ahead and google that bitch. And yeah I know its New Zealand, Indonesia and a bunch of islands too, but Australia is the main land mass, you nit picking sons of bitches.).<br /><br />I know that math and science are very important, but I think learning about the world around you, peoples and cultures are also pretty damn important too.<br /><br />When my students did not know where Canada and the US were, I figured that they must spend their entire geography and social studies classes focusing on Korea and its people and history, which most Koreans think is pretty fucking important.<br /><br />So I asked my students how many provinces were in Korea, which I knew there were 9 (I swear I did at the time, but may or may not have just looked it up on Wikipedia) but my students had no idea. The students and my co-teacher also had no idea what the population of Korea was 49,773,145 (they thought it was way more), and when I showed them on the board their population, compared to the US 310,118,000 (also may or may not be recently googled) after slowly counting all the zeros out loud (I mean what is that? Why cant they look at 1,000 and say "one thousand"? or 1,000,000 and say "a million" what is with the complete lack of number recognition?), they gasped in amazement that there were so few Koreans compared to Americans. I did not want to even tell them how many Chinese or Indians there are, for one thing it would have taken the rest of the class for them to count all the zeros.<br /><br />I thought that they might have a little more knowledge about where they live than American students, but not really. So I have no idea what these kids are learning for 10 hours a day at public school and 8 hours after school, but it sure aint about the world they live in.<br /><br />Or how to count by tens.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-88133365403811406512010-08-29T17:12:00.000-07:002010-08-29T17:34:19.250-07:00Hellie Pol-torIf you teach English in Korea, you are asked about what you like on a daily basis.<br /><br />"Teacher, you like Kimchi?" For example. If you have not been asked this one million times then you are not teaching in Korea. The other standbys are if you like "rice", depending on your sex Korean "women or men", Korean food (which for some reason is a separate category from rice and kimchi), and various K-pop bands and Korean celebrities that are virtually unknown to anyone not born on the peninsula.<br /><br />However there was one thing I kept getting asked that I had no Idea what it meant.<br /><br />"Teacher do you like Hellie Pol-tor?" I would be asked randomly<br /><br />"What?"<br /><br />"Hellie Pol-tor?"<br /><br />"What the hell is that?" I had no idea what the fuck they were asking me, and one student in particular would ask me it about my opinion of "Hellie Pol-tor" once every two weeks. The student who asked was actually one of my better students, and spoke English fairly well, but would get very frustrated when I asked him to explain what the fuck a "Hellie Pol-tor" was.<br /><br />I eventually figured out that it was a movie, but did not know if it was Korean or mainstream. Then one day I was browsing movies at the local library when all of a sudden it hit me. "Hellie Poltor" was known in America as "Harry Potter", one of the most popular book and movie franchises of the recent decade.<br /><br />I cant believe it took me like 6 months to figure that out.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-86743342780864477372010-08-25T19:04:00.000-07:002010-08-25T19:30:35.158-07:00First day of classesYesterday I returned to work, but since I had not created a schedule for the classes I would teach, I taught no classes.<br /><br />Today is my first day of actual teaching I have scheduled 3 classes. My first class was scheduled for 10 am, so when students started arriving at 9:00 am, I told them too get the fuck out. They left. Were they suppose to be there? Who knows. I don't really care either. It might have been that they very well were suppose to come to class, since in Korea they will change your schedule at the last minute and not say a fucking word to you about it.<br /><br />Last semester I was sitting in my private office, watching a movie when I heard noises coming from my classroom. I investigated and found a class full of Students sitting quietly, waiting for class to start. My co-teacher had an appointment or something and had asked the VP to come to the class in her place, however she had not bothered to let me know about the schedule change, and the VP had not bothered to show up.<br /><br />So after turning on all the video equipment, and letting the monitors warm up, I taught about 25 minutes of class before the students went on their merry little way. Did I care? Hell no, I get paid the same no matter what. Show up or don't, come early, come late, all I have to do is turn on a DVD and say repeat after me for 45 minutes 20 times a week. I really cant complain.<br /><br />So it is now a quarter after 11:00 and my first class has yet to show up. Was it re-scheduled? Who knows. Will i teach my next two classes today? Your guess is as good as mine. Does it matter? Not really. Welcome to Korea muther fuckers.Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686726401217436859.post-90480206796101771272010-08-24T17:12:00.000-07:002010-08-24T19:03:18.261-07:00Oh Korea<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>We just got back from an epic journey through China and Borneo, and the journey really made me appreciate some things about Korea.<br /><br />1. (relatively) Clean water. In china and Borneo it is not safe to drink the water without boiling it first, and of course they serve ice in all the drinks, along with a hefty dose of the Asian version of Montezuma's revenge.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.japan-talk.com/images/jt/diarrheaBear1417112174269703032.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 364px;" src="http://www.japan-talk.com/images/jt/diarrheaBear1417112174269703032.jpeg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />2. Public Transportation. Although the bus drivers in Korea are certifiably insane, the extensive network of bus and subway service (throughout the area around Seoul anyway) is convenient and reliable. And you dont feel like you need either a tetanus shot or shower after riding on the bus, for the most part.<br /><br />3. Sunburns. Koreans are more phobic of direct sunshine than your average non-sparkly vampire...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYXI4JYQDzLQQ-txt_5hqe7wPqsCCGaHwLduRyyg01xJk6wXCllQPF-cGnTgAbdl1cGitWyneHeHiG72bQfBO744VJA1E17xt5Vo9tc_f7rwHugcvX31rYewuTVjH6K_nyKOfWXLbywVk/"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 422px; height: 392px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYXI4JYQDzLQQ-txt_5hqe7wPqsCCGaHwLduRyyg01xJk6wXCllQPF-cGnTgAbdl1cGitWyneHeHiG72bQfBO744VJA1E17xt5Vo9tc_f7rwHugcvX31rYewuTVjH6K_nyKOfWXLbywVk/" alt="" border="0" /></a>gay<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">But they actually don't have that much to fear since the sun is usually being blocked out by the thick haze of pollution or near constant rain or overcastyness (not a word). Meanwhile the entire Awesomecool family was nearly burnt to a non sparkly crisp on the sunny beaches of Malaysia.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHg6mb_wJ9zZ648A_3WaTTv_Yvm5uVwL7ZQFfxGewu8Bk7Fp9OpTNFgXPkMFFsWNvJTa9VkAkH9XFCC15DtrZdOruHWsXLBGJ8ib_USBK4ZNk372WDkYwkKaQD5sBn66cNqaazv5S431I/s400/1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 347px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHg6mb_wJ9zZ648A_3WaTTv_Yvm5uVwL7ZQFfxGewu8Bk7Fp9OpTNFgXPkMFFsWNvJTa9VkAkH9XFCC15DtrZdOruHWsXLBGJ8ib_USBK4ZNk372WDkYwkKaQD5sBn66cNqaazv5S431I/s400/1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />4.Paid Vacation. At all my jobs in America, when I took a vacation, it meant I was not getting paid until I went back to work. The whole time I was relaxing on a beach, or visiting pandas, or checking out temples, I was getting paid the same as if I was at school, watching movies, taking a nap or writing my blog. Not at all like in America, where you get paid for when you are actually doing your job, and expected to clock out for your 15 minute break.<br /><br />So there are some good things about living over here, but sometimes you have to take a step back to really appreciate what you have.<br /></div></div>Mr. Awesomecoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11151881224215690954noreply@blogger.com2