This morning

My wife and I have a daily ritual. We both wake up at about 7:15, turn on the tea kettle, have some fruit and tea and watch the news until it is time to go to work. The only reason I watch the news is to see how shitty the weather will be for the next three days.

We only have 6 channels on our TV; they are the free channels because we are too cheap to pay for a good TV package where they might have some shows in English. So we sit through the Korean news shows, where somebody did something bad, and they are in a police station with their jackets pulled over their heads in shame. Someone snuck a video camera into some seminar or presentation where everyone's face needs to be blurred and their voices distorted. And something about Korean food, usually with a westerner trying it, or the locals making exaggerated face for how fucking good the kimchi is.

I just want the weather, because I have no idea what the fuck is going on with the rest of it. I can understand a graphic of a rain cloud or snowstorm to beat shit though. Even though the metric system and measuring temperatures in Celsius is not from my native land, I know when it’s going to be need a jacket weather, and freezing my fucking nuts off cold.

While watching the tiny cute weather girl talk gibberish about the 3 day forecast today, my wife went into a sneezing fit. She sneezed so hard something flew out of her mouth onto her sleeve.

Then my wife said "Ewww Gross.” Which I wholeheartedly agreed with. Then she ate it. I am not fucking kidding, this happened. She sneezed something up, a bit of food or mucous, pronounced it as gross then fucking ate it. Really.

I called WTF on it.

She said "What? It was probably just some pear."

I said "You sneezed out something onto your sleeve, said "ewww, gross" then ate it. I am so blogging about this."

And I did.