Bread

Koreans are good at making many things. They excel at making cheap electronics that break easily, rude ignorant people, soju ( a disgusting beverage made from old sweet potatoes, rice and hatred), kimchi, and... well, really that's about it. One thing they definitely cannot make is bread.

I have tried several types of bread made in Korea, the first disappointment was garlic bread. Add garlic and oil to bread. Simple and delicious. Korean logic dictates that if something tastes good, it will always taste better with copious amounts of sugar added to it. The sugary garlic frosting taste from that foul loaf still haunts my dreams.

We also purchased a loaf of "Whole grain" bread we found its sweet taste and almost non-existent texture to be similar to wonder bread. When used to make a sandwich it melted into a soggy mess that stuck to my teeth and gums. I might as well have made a sandwich out of cake batter.

The problem is, they add milk to all their breads (we learned this later). Milk is not a bread ingredient. Forget that I am vegan, and that I don't consume dairy anyway. The only ingredients you need are flour, yeast, water, and salt if you want to be fancy.

As a carb addict, and since I cannot buy a decent loaf of whole wheat bread in this heathen country, I am forced to make my own bread. All I do is add one tablespoon of yeast to 3 cups of water, mix in roughly 6 cups of flour and let it sit overnight, that will make about 2 loaves of bread. The next day, or day after I kneed half the dough for about five minutes, and then bake it for about 30-40 minutes at as high as your oven will go.

This is what a real loaf of bread looks like.

There you go, whole wheat crusty goodness that fills your belly, and does not melt into mush when you make a sandwich.

Dammit google!

Like many teachers, I use the internets in my classroom. When students, or co-teachers do not know a vocabulary word, and I cannot explain it with exaggerated gestures or in smaller words, I google it. Unfortunately you never know what you are going to get when you use a google search.

For example. No one knew what pale yellow was. They understood yellow, but you throw pale in front of the word, and it is utter confusion! Pale? How can it be teacher? Well I throw it into a google search and bam! Pictures of pale yellow.
No problem, pictures of flowers and bed sheets and swatches. It was fine. Then I did Aqua. A word they have never heard before.

"What is Aqua, Teacher?"

"Let me show you!"

"Ohhhhh!"



I guess aqua is the color of hot wet sex, with razors!

Then I did a section on going to a bakery. Bread, its harmless, completely unsexy, it should be fine. Right?

"Class do you know what a loaf is?"

"No!"

"Here, I will show you."

Nice google, real classy.

OK class, how about the post office? There cant be anything bad at the post office...Can there?

"Teacher, what stamp?"

"Let me google that for you!"

"You see, this lovely young lady has a stamp..."