Adventure!

Yesterday the wife and I had to go for our checkup. The head of the Englishee dept. took us to the hospital, after which she wanted to take us out to lunch. That would seem like a nice gesture to a normal person. However, my wife is not a "normal" person.

Not only is she is on a raw food diet right now, she is also a devout, militant, fundamentalist Vegan. She is the type of person who would strap c-4 to her chest and suicide bomb a McDonalds. The very thought of eating in a restaurant where the "juice of dog", or chicken is prepared sends her into a blind rage.

She wanted absolutely no part of eating any lunch besides the pureed raw turnip, garlic and yeast that she packed for her lunch, and smelled roughly like the bottom of a garbage can. So we made excuse, after excuse as to why we could not possibly go to lunch. The head of the English department did not want to go back to work and fought desperately to go out to eat.

"Its only 10am, and there will be nothing open."

"I tink, dat maybe your wife want go shopping until runchee?"

Unfortunately for her, not only is my wife nearly six feet tall, and therefore too large for either female or male Korean clothing, she also lacks the bargain hunting and fashion loving gene predominately found in females and gay men. Somehow, I posses the gene, I know its weird!

She suggested several more options for avoiding going back to work, but my wife was unrelenting. Eventually she out-koreaned my boss with her stubbornness and inability to take no for an answer born out her diet based fanaticism and was driven back to her school.

I however, do not posses my wife's unrelenting will, and also did not want to go back to work, so after she was driven back my boss suggested lunch one more time. I said OK, and figured if they did not have anything I would eat later.

The restaurant she took me to was a traditional place that served the "Juice of dog" and chicken in one building, and traditional tofu and noodle dishes in another. It also had incredible landscaping.







The served me a boiling hot bowl of one piece of tofu roughly the size of a babies head, and of course rice and side dishes. They were worried that it would be too spicey for me, but it only had a mild tang to it. It was pretty good, and the vegetable sides were good, but the kimchi smelled like low tide so I had no part of it.

Afterward it was time to go back, but my boss really did not want to, so she suggested going for a short walk. We ended up wandering around what looked like an abandoned shack, with giant woolly guard dogs on chains. It turned out to be a Buddhist temple that normally served tea, but was closed. My boss convinced them to let us in and look around and we checked out the shrine.





Then she convinced them to make us some tea while we sat on a heated mat watching Korean soap operas. When we finally left, it was about 1:30pm.

"Oh, it soo late!" My boss said in surprise. She had told the Vice Principal that we would be back by noon. So we rushed back to school, but when we got there, it was a ghost town. All the teachers had gone to lunch so no one even noticed we got back an hour and a half late.

After they all got back we went to the gym and played volleyball and basketball for about two hours. It was like the special Olympics in there. Not only was I not use to Korean rules volleyball (like a mixture of soccer and volleyball)I am old and mildly retarded at sports, luckily all the other teachers were too.

Playing hooky

Monday night the wife and I started to feel ill, and Tuesday morning i still felt nauseous and had a headache as did my wife. I decided to use one of my 14 sick days and stay home, she chose to go into work, because her co-teacher was going to be gone, and she was the only person who could lead her camp (how responsible of her!).

I called my co-teacher and told her I was not coming in, and pulled the blanket back over my head. I got up a while later, and had tea while playing GTA4.

So I spent the day with the kids, forcing them to help me learn Spanish (so we can go back to Europe to teach next year), but mostly played GTA4 on my xbox.

Today I am back in the classroom, I have a throbbing headache (I bet you thought I was gonna say hard on, you pervs!). I am playing Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs on the Big screen TV, and writing my blog. Soon I will have to start teaching them the pointless conversations they made me write for these "camps".

On Monday the VP complained that my conversations were too advanced for some of the students. I told her that if they were any more simple that they would not be practical. Remember these were her Ideas and topics.

She wanted to know if the kids would be able to use the conversations in real situations. I said yes, but not for 5-10 years in the future, when they would no longer remember them. Then I started rambling about how we need to teach them conversations more applicable to their lives, because little Sujin was not going to be checking into a hotel anytime soon, at least not in English, and if she was checking into a hotel around here it would only be for a couple hours and not days.

These kids do not need to learn how to make plane reservations, or check into a hospital, they will be living at home until they are 30, their parents will take care of everything for them. If they ever leave the country at all, it wont be until after they graduate college, or have a family of their own.

The whole thing is pretty much pointless, but it only lasts 3 hours and then I get to watch Entourage for the rest of the afternoon. So today I will be pointlessly teaching Hojun how to open a checking account in America, and I will do it with a smile on my face.

Dave is the king of douchebagistan, and all the mods are his loyal douchebagistany subjects.