My vice principle

When I first started work, my Vice Principle had me sit down with her and enjoy a snack of tea and tok. She then started to tell me what to expect of the Korean children at our school in broken English. She told me to not be offended by the children because they like to touch each other, and will probably want to get their filthy swine flue ridden hands all over me. That really did not turn out to be true. The only time one of the kids have touched me is when one little girl poked me in the belly. I guess she wanted to see if I giggled like the Pillsbury dough boy.

She then told me to be very careful about touching the kids. I really did not think that was a problem. I have no desire to touch these kids at all.

"You be vely calfur about the touchee."

"Oh I dont think that will be a problem." I have no desire to touch children, I dont even hug the ones I got at home. I just wave at them from across the room, that's good parenting.

"In the news, I saw a teacher get fired. He touch a gilr on hip."

"Wow, he only touched her on the hip?" That seemed pretty harsh to get fired for just an accidental hip touching.

"Yes it vely big scandal, he get filed onry fol touchee on hip."

"That is terrible, I will be very careful about that." I said, now scared out of my mind about even brushing up against a child.

"Yes, he chase her, he ran aftel her vedy faah and he touch her hip."

So the dude actually ran down a terrified 13 year old, so he could rub his jinro soaked hands on the poor child's hips. Ok, maybe the dude should be fired.

I was more than a little insulted that my VP, who had known me all of 3 days, thought there was a chance that I might be running down her students and touching their hips. I know I might be a filthy foreigner, but it falls within the realm of common sense not to molest my students. You don't shit where you eat.

Of course other schools are fair game.

Dave is a filthy hip touching foreigner, and all the mods at the ESL cafe have a hip touching fetish as well.

Orientation

I finally made it back after three days of debauchery and mayhem at the teachers orientation. My orientation days were the last 3 days of the week, the elementary school went the first three days.

They sell alcohol at the teachers orientation in a convenience store located in the building. Shortly after arriving we were all herded into a large auditorium where we were informed that, Soju and Macoli would not be served.

Being all hopped up on Soju and Macoli the Elementary school teachers got so wild and out of control that they deemed it necessary to ban its sale, lest the other teachers also damage the facility.

People were pissed that their precious (and really cheap) booze would not be allowed, but beer was still available. Lots of beer was available, but it wasn't enough. Each nigh the native teachers bought so much beer that by the time the store closed the shelves were empty.

I dont understand why they thought that not making Korea's two favorite liquors available they would curb the NET's(native enrlish teachers) natural tendencies to drink massive quantities of alcohol and generally act like idiots.

Each night beer pong and other drinking games were played until the wee hours of the night. Each morning hordes of hung over sleep deprived zombies shuffled from one seminar to the next, mainlining coffee between sessions.

It was a lot of fun.

Banishment

The idea behind my banishment is for the students to have more opportunities to come and have one on one conversations with me during lunch and between classes. Right now, when I am in the teachers office, students swarm in during lunch and the breaks between classes and practice their English with me. The office is centrally located, and the student often must go there to talk to teachers, see the nurse and occasionally get punished.

So obviously it would be much better for the students, and more convenient for them, if I would go sit in a classroom at the far end of the building, at the end of long hallway, where no students hang out, or visit except for when they have English class.

I can see how this is going to increase the amount of daily conversation practice I have with the kids, from being at the nexus of student activity(totally inconvenient) and being moved to the Ass end of Egypt, because you know how kids like to go out of their way to practice English.

Third times the charm!

Today I am going to the gym. At least I am going to try again. I have been trying to join this gym that is kinda close to my school since monday, but have failed at every attempt. I choose to try to get a membership at this one because the one in the town I live in(which is larger and more convient) cost 85,000 won a month for a membership. That is pretty fricking steep. The one by the school is 30,000 won a month, or "not so fucking steep" as some might say.

On Monday(which was payday) it was not really I who failed, but stupid, fucking NH bank. For those of you that don't know NH bank is a pretty big bank in Korea, but it is also a farmer bank. They have big ass bags of rice sitting in the lobby for fucks sake. Well anyway, banks here close at 4:30pm which is when I get off work. So when I got to the bank, and my bank book(I dont have a bank card yet) would not work, I could not get any money out. So after randomly smashing buttons on the Korean language ATM (if I tried the English button it instantly failed) I had to concede victory to NH bank. You may have one this battle, but the war is not over yet...

The next day I was able to get off work early to go set up automatic gas payments at the bank. That is another weird little fun fact about Korea. When you get a gas bill, you pay it at the bank...I know crazy, right? It can be any bank, even if you don't have an account at it! Back in America, they wont even give you change for a dollar if you don't have an account with them! You can also set up automatic payments for a set period of time (at your bank), crazy but very convenient. So I was able to kill two birds with one trip to the bank, and set up my gas payments and get my monies out of the bank. Why did I kill two birds? Well that's my business.

So with thousands of Korean won in my sweaty little hand I went to the gym, next door to the bank. I went inside with a change of clothes, wearing my gym shoes, ready to join up and work out. But it was not to be! They would not let me in! Why, you ask? Because I did not have a second pair of shoes! They had a two shoe policy! How was I to know?

I knew that in a lot of places in Korea, for example my school, you wear slippers inside, and leave your shoes at the door. Of course you don't have to do that in grocery stores, or movie theaters, or aquariums or places like that. You have to in schools, homes, and some restaurants. I though the gym, where you don't wear slippers it would make sense just to need one pair! So once again I failed.

Today I have money, I have workout clothes(also a must for working out) I have extra shoes, so I should be able to do it! Unless I get hit by a bus or something on my way there. Its entirely possible.