End of Camp

Yesterday was the last day of Summer camp. At most schools the NETs will have fun activities for the kids to do, games to play, movies to watch, arts and crafts and other bullshit to waste time with the illusion of teaching. Not at my school.

The Principal and Vice Principal here at asshole middle school think that the best way for students to spend their summer vacation is rote memorization of pointless dialogues. They think students "Need rearn diaroges for implove Englishee."

Last winter I spent two weeks planning fun activities and games that focused on improving the students conversation and listing abilities. Those were scrapped the week before camps began and replaced with 3 hours a day of dialogue practice and memorization. Never mind that none of them can speak or write in more than a three word sentence, and 90% of the time those sentences either begin with "Teacher" or "I'm". So I am not sure how memorization of the dialogue for making a hotel reservation is going to help them if they lack the ability to understand what the hell they are memorizing.

When the head of the Englishee dept asked me for plans for summer camp, I saw it coming. So I created simple pointless dialogues for the kids to "memorize" for the benefit of the Principal and Vice Principal, since if either of them showed up, it would only be for the first 15 minutes of class anyway. Then we would do fun activites for the next two hours. But then the VP decided that my dialogues were too short, and demanded twice as much as I prepared.

They wanted me to cut the fun activities and spend the whole three hours with memorization, practice, and drilling of the dialogues, which are simple but completely useless for the students to memorize. Even though I tried to dumb them down as much as possible they still had trouble with them.

Here is one of my dialogues:

Mike: What do you want to do tomorrow?
Sumin: I don’t know. How about a movie?
Mike: Yeah, that sounds like it will be fun.
Sumin: What do you want to do before the movie?
Mike: We could go out to eat.
Sumin: Yeah we should go get some hamburgers.
Mike: Ok, then let’s do that.
Sumin: Yeah lets!

I asked the students questions about it.

Me: Are Sumin and Mike going to eat before or after they watch the movie?
Student1: Hamburger?
Me: no.
Student2: Mike?
Me: Are Sumin and Mike....Going to eat.... Before or After... They watch the movie?
Student3: Hamburger?
Me: no. When are they going to eat? Are they going to eat BEFORE the movie, or are they going to eat AFTER the movie?
Student4: Hamburger?
Me: If the answer was not Hamburger the first two times...
Student 5: Mike?

The dialogues were pointless and boring and the VP loved it. But I did not want to spend 3 hours a day on it, so for all my classes I had the students read it out loud one time then move on to the next one. That way we would still have time to do fun activities that they might actually learn something from.

I asked my the head of the English dept. how the hell this was suppose to help the students with their English when they did not understand the dialogues at all. She told me "Students not understand diarogue, just repeat it untir dey understand." I guess that is why when you tell a Korean that you do not speak Korean they keep talking to you in Korean, they all think if you repeat something enough times the other person will just magically figure it out. I can guarrentee you however, if I have no fucking clue what you said the first time, i will have no fucking clue the next three times you say it, so save your breath.

HA HA!

As I have said before, the big thing going around right now is a bunch of whining NET's started complaining about having to work during the Christmas and summer breaks because their Principles and Vice Principles were dicks. At my school they told me I would not have to come to school for most of break as I only had to teach six four hour days of camp.

I rejoiced at this and I was happy, until some assholes passed down the new rule. They want to unfairly force us to honor our contracts! The nerve! I have to go to school every day, and put in 8 hours before I can leave! I cant believe how unfair this is!

Now this would not be funny, except they just canceled all my camps. When I heard this, I was like "Awesome! no work during break!" But it was not to be! What my VP decided in her infinite wisdom, is that we will not have the voluntary fun Engilshee camps, where we play games, watch movies, and do arts and crafts. Instead we need to have structured, mandatory Englishee conversation courses no games, no movies, no youtube videos, only dialogue memorization. Because I know how much I would have loved to spend my winter vacations in a classroom memorizing dialogues instead of, oh I don't know...HAVING FUN!

That is not the funny part though. The funniest part is that they are making my co-teacher and the head of the Englishee dept. come in too. They have to spend their entire vacations at work! Not only do they have to come in, they have to stay the whole 8 hours, HAHAHAHAH!!!

Something else that is funny is my wife is in the same program too, and her school was going to do the same thing until they figured out that they would have to pay her co-teacher to come in as well, and they didn't have the budget for it!

I bet the administration is going to get a shitload of complaints from all the Korean Teachers being forced to babysit us over their vacations! My co-teachers sure are pissed at this "it is not...Ideal" as they say.

Un-bannished

My Vice Principle just asked me how many students were coming to see me in my classroom. I stupidly answered honestly. Since I have been ousted, I have seen maybe 3-4 students during lunch and breaks.

She says I can come back to the teacher's lounge, where it wont take me 10 minutes to reach the restroom, where the hot water is for tea, where all the other teachers are. I however dont really want to come back.

I like being banished. I like the solitude, I like not having the little, garbage breathed, disease carrying, annoying, curious students reading over my shoulders and asking me if I "Speak Korean" or "Like Kimchi" every fucking day.

I dont want to be un-bannished! She asked me if I would like to come back, but in a manner suggesting that I have no choice in the matter. It looks like I have to pack up my things and return to the den of iniquity that is the teacher's lounge.

Memior of a Banished teacher

Well its 2:00pm on my first day of banishment. So far I have had zero students come and chat me up. Usually in the teachers office, every break a dozen students stop in a talk to me. They at least say "hi" or something, usually a "How are you? I am So So" or maybe a "Teacher like...Kim Chi?" or some other Korean food.

I am not complaining though. I like being banished so far. Its a little bit boring, but I am not being bothered by stupid questions like "How are you? I am So So" or maybe a "Teacher like...Kim Chi?" or some other Korean food. I have less people looking over my shoulder as I surf the internets, and I can watch videos if I want on my giant 72 inch touchscreen monitor, so its pretty chill.

Lets see if any students take advantage of the new open door policy for english practice. I am betting no one will. I am hoping no one will. I hope the VP does not find out that no one is.

Banishment

The idea behind my banishment is for the students to have more opportunities to come and have one on one conversations with me during lunch and between classes. Right now, when I am in the teachers office, students swarm in during lunch and the breaks between classes and practice their English with me. The office is centrally located, and the student often must go there to talk to teachers, see the nurse and occasionally get punished.

So obviously it would be much better for the students, and more convenient for them, if I would go sit in a classroom at the far end of the building, at the end of long hallway, where no students hang out, or visit except for when they have English class.

I can see how this is going to increase the amount of daily conversation practice I have with the kids, from being at the nexus of student activity(totally inconvenient) and being moved to the Ass end of Egypt, because you know how kids like to go out of their way to practice English.

Things are changing.

So first of all, starting next week I am not allowed in the Teachers office, lunch, breaks and between classes. When I don't have classes I may go to the teachers office. So what does that mean, it means I will only go to the teacher's office to get hot water for tea.

The Vice principal wants me to be in the Language lab full time, to allow students the chance to Converse with me one on one or in groups, for every break I get in the day. Right now I have a "Conversation Class" that is suppose to meet Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8:30 am (right when I get to work) for about 30 minutes. This does not count as teaching hours since it is just a conversation class, and not a regular class. And yet I have to make a lesson plan each week for this class.

Since I started the having "Conversation Class" two weeks ago, students have shown up once. Two weeks ago. I am not complaining mind you, I am fine with no one showing up, less work for me! I have not turned in a lesson plan for this class since first week and no one has noticed yet. So I have the appearance of more work, without the responsibility.

Going back to getting kicked out, it kind of sucks that I am basically losing one of my desks, and the occasional free food, company from other teachers. I am being banished to the other side of the school.

On the upside, I dont have to come into the Office and Bow to the Principal anymore, as currently I bow and "Anyang Hasseo" every morning and "Anyang Kesseo" when I leave as per instructions. Now I just go straight to my office, and leave straight from my office, no butt kissing required.

Another plus, with all this extra work of me sitting in my PRIVATE office in the Language lab, and no one showing up to talk to me(they would much rather hurl tennis balls and sandals at each other in the hallway), I will not have my shitty 3rd year classes anymore. Instead I will be watching videos and surfing the internet, not even pretending to work anymore.

Also, next year they want me to do Art Classes in English for extra Cash. I am down with that, I finally get to use that stupid fucking degree.