Bad students

During one of my third grade classes my co-teacher called on a pair of students to read a simple dialogue, in Englishee. The students stared at my co-teacher, then at their books. They looked at me and looked at their books. They looked at my co-teacher, and then looked at their books. My co-teacher told them to read the dialogue in Korean. The students stared at my co-teacher, then at their books. They looked at me and looked at their books. They looked at my co-teacher, and then looked at their books.

I told them what to say. My co-teacher told them what to say. The students around them, tried to help them, but still they looked totally confused, and stayed mute. I told them to sit down and practice, I would call on them again later. I was annoyed, the class seemed to prefer talking in Korean to practicing the dialogue, I was use to this by now, but for some reason decided to make an example out of this pair. I called on the other students to do the dialogue, and no matter how terribly they did it, I gave them candy.

We practiced another dialogue; I told the students that they would perform it. I told them exactly what to say. I gave them 5 minutes to work on it in pairs. I then called on them to read the dialogue.

The students stared at my co-teacher, then at their books. They looked at me and looked at their books. They looked at my co-teacher, and then looked at their books. My co-teacher told them to read the dialogue in Korean. The students stared at my co-teacher, then at their books. They looked at me and looked at their books. They looked at my co-teacher, and then looked at their books.

This time I was angly. “You are in Englishee Class!” I yelled. “When I tell you to practice a dialogue in English, you better practice the fucking dialogue!” I told the students to sit down and practice the dialogue, I that I would call on them each time until they got it right. They sat down, faces red with embarrassment.

I called on more students and gave them candy. I wrote the next dialogue on a white board, I yelled at the entire class to practice the dialogue. I called on the same pair of students, and they did the blank stare routine again. “How the hell are you not getting this?” I yelled. “I wrote it down, I told you exactly what to say! Its only two sentences!” I warned them that I would call on them every fucking class until they finally figured out how to practice the dialogue. I had my co-teacher translate into less angry Korean, so there would be no misunderstanding. Then I dismissed the class.

After the class both my co-teacher and I stood there shaking our heads. “What the hell is their problem?” I asked him. “Could I have made myself any clearer about practicing the fucking dialogue?”

“Oh don’t brame self.” He told me. “Out of the entire plovence they score da rowest. Our schoor getting special funding for da student. Da plincipar say don’t feel bad if dey no rean anything, dey retarded.”

“Why the hell did you wait until now to tell me that?” Because now I feel like a real asshole.

Cussing in class

I have noticed a lot of my students will throw out the occasional "Shut the fuck up" or "Piece of shit", not at me of course, they love me. They will yell it at other students, however both my co-teacher, who speak decent Englishee (Since they don't actually say Engrish here) never seem to notice. I notice, but I don't really give a fuck if those pieces of shit say those things.

I have wagged an occasional finger at my students, and said "Hey don't say that" Only because I don't want them to get in trouble. I don't want them to get in trouble because that means they get the cane, which in return only seems to rile them up more in my opinion.

It seems like my co-teachers don't really know the good curse words, or if they do, they don't care. On the other hand, my teacher wouldn't let them listen to Justin Timberlake's "Bringing Sexy Back" in class because it was "Rude for the students".

I will never understand Koreans...



PS. Dave is a fucking, piece of shit, asshole, douche bag. He and all his mods can fall through the floor of a squat toilet and drown.

Un-bannished

My Vice Principle just asked me how many students were coming to see me in my classroom. I stupidly answered honestly. Since I have been ousted, I have seen maybe 3-4 students during lunch and breaks.

She says I can come back to the teacher's lounge, where it wont take me 10 minutes to reach the restroom, where the hot water is for tea, where all the other teachers are. I however dont really want to come back.

I like being banished. I like the solitude, I like not having the little, garbage breathed, disease carrying, annoying, curious students reading over my shoulders and asking me if I "Speak Korean" or "Like Kimchi" every fucking day.

I dont want to be un-bannished! She asked me if I would like to come back, but in a manner suggesting that I have no choice in the matter. It looks like I have to pack up my things and return to the den of iniquity that is the teacher's lounge.