My wife is a secret lesbian

Last night I was all warm and cozy, all tucked into bed. My wife decided to crawled over me to get to her side, as she straddled me, she began to viciously dry hump me in the ass. Now this might come as a surprise to you, but not to me. She always does this. Every fucking time.

Night after night I get pretend sodomized by my wife. Every chance she gets, she vigorously, and often painfully grinds against my ass, hip or junk. Why does she do this? It's quite simply because she is a semi-closeted lesbian. I say semi because of this. She often tells me of a fem crush she has, she loves watching the L word, she is an Ellen fan, and a liberal. Do I need any more proof?

All I ask for is if she does finally get up the gumption to go ahead and have a lesbian love affair, that I get a taste too. Would it be too much to ask? To get thrown into the mix, I mean after all there is only so much that licking and fisting can accomplish before you need a hairy sweaty man to come in and finish up. At least let me be a towel boy or something. If that is not cool maybe let me video tape it, but at the very least get to watch. It would be only fair.

Dave is a cunt, the ESL cafe is for retarded glen beck fans (redundant?). All the mods at the ESL cafe can only orgasm from watching household animals fuck. Seriously, they need to watch kitty porn to jerk off. Its sick man. Do you really want to be judged by these people? They pop a boner every time sparky humps a leg. Its fucked up.

I'm lovin it.

I was teaching a class one day, and in the lesson there was a story about a dog named Yeppie who destroyed someone's flower garden. Naughty Yeppie! Well anyway, I was interacting with the class and asking what should the owner do with his dog? Should he keep Yeppie inside? Should he keep Yeppie on a leash?

One girl raised her hand and said "Eeh sherd eeet Yeppie."
Now I was pretty sure I misheard that. "He should beat yeppie? No you shouldn't beat your pets." I said.

"No" she said "Eeh sherd eeet Yeppie!" and then she mimed eating, a delicious albeit naughty dog.

I was shocked! I asked my co-teacher "You don't really still eat dogs here? Do you?" she just laughed and smiled. Then I asked the class who had actually eaten dog in the class, and half the students raised their hands.

People love to eat meat in Korea, almost as much as in the US. But they also eat dog, which is uncommon in the US, unless you count corn and hotdogs. Here they have restaurants that specialize in dog meat stew.

When I first decided to come to Korea, I thought that was a myth. That eating dog was a racist stereotype, that might have been true in the past but they are a civilized, modern country that would not do that now, right? For some reason I equated a modern public transportation system and abundantly available high speed internet with not eating dog.

For those who read my blog(both of you) it is important to realize that my family and I are Vegans. We are tree-hugging, earth saving, liberal, leftist, socialist, atheist, vegans and we love it. Although I was shocked to find out that they still eat dog here, when I stopped to think about it, it is really worse than eating any other animal?

My wife says yes definitely. It is more wrong to eat a smart animal. So according to her it would be worse to eat a pig (smarter than a dog) than a dog. Cow would fall below dog, but above chicken, who would be above fish. Fish would be above clams, and clams would be above Glen Beck fans.

She also says if it can love you, you shouldn't eat it. I say that I don't really believe that dogs love you, sure they might like you, but occasionally they rip our faces off. Is that love? Maybe a chicken could love you too. You never know unless you give it a chance.